Don’t dim your sparkle
To blend into the shadows
Be your brightest star
Some days I wish I were normal. Mediocre. Average. Our world is designed for the average to flourish. But I’m very abnormal. And it’s hard. But I’d rather be myself than be miserable trying to be anything else.
So for all of you sparkly stars out there that are driving yourselves mad just to fight to fit into a group that will never truly understand you anyway, remember you— as you are — are your greatest gift to the world. Dare to be true to YOU!
#selfworth #selflove #selfesteem #shine #encouragement #poem #selfcare #poetry #selfhelp #goodnews #poetsofinstagram #poet #poetrycommunity #selfawareness #loveyourself #selfconfidence #bodypositive #amentothat #empowerment #positivity #mentalhealth #mindfulness #confidence #gratitude #healing #meditation #spirituality #positivevibes #enlightenment
Plowing through hassles
I am capable and strong
I can accept help
Asking for help has been tough for me. In my life, historically, asking for or accepting an offer of assistance has always come with a string or two — a hidden tit for tat clause. I don’t like feeling like I owe someone something or that I’m always under their debt and control because I accepted a favor.
So I’d rather just do it myself. Even if it’s the hardest or most complicated path, I’d rather do it alone and know that I am free from anyone’s leashes or expectations. But I’m softening. I’m learning that there are genuine gifts. I’m learning that I don’t have to wear all hats and handle all tasks and manage all things. I’m learning that some wonderful gems are happy to help because it is their pleasure to assist — not because they’re making a downpayment on a future favor; not because they’re holding a pot of boiling water over your head until you repay the gesture; not because they feel entitled to your time, energy and submission.
I’m grateful to be surrounded by people that give and love and help for giving and loving and helping’s sake. As I look at my friend-circle, I see genuine support and care, not leverage or manipulation. I see it in my church. I see it in my GirlGang. This is God. Caring for your neighbors and never standing idly by watching them struggle to their feet. This is what it means to hold each other.
It is a beautiful gift to help others. It is a more humbling gift to accept help.
Cheers to the best friends and the most sincere care.
Tedious sand dune
An atomic chair cuddles
into the rabbit.
Wahhhhat is this? I used a poem generator today and it’s nothing short of 🦆ing hilarious…
Things I used to hate
About myself are the things
I love most today.
In couples therapy, I learned that each day is a conscious decision to want to be with your partner. “I love you today. I want to be with you.” Taking that same theory with me, I started practicing that for myself, to myself. “Today, I love me. And I want to be me.” Now, I don’t want to be me everyday. But I do more often than I used to, and it took me years to get this far. 2019 will be another year of radical self-acceptance and self-love.
I’m not bipolar. I don’t have high highs and low lows.
I just have high highs and higher highs.
And that gives me a larger-than-average capacity to be active and create stuff. I don’t think it’s an illness but it is definitely an abnormality. I’m frequently misinterpreted.
I get a lot of microagressive comments like “ew just looking at you makes me tired.”
Or “just hearing that stresses me out.”
Or “Octavia you’re such an over achiever.”
Yeah maybe compared to you. Jerk.
Or my favorite, “You do TOO MUCH.”
No. I. Don’t.
But whatever. It works for me. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary for me. I am my normal.
And yes, I do sleep.
On the other side of that is all of the support and cheers and encouragement from my friends.
“Wow, you stay busy!”
Or “You’re doing what I always wanted to do.”
Or “I want to be you when I grow up.”
Look, I may not be rich or famous or even moderately debt free and I pretty much just barely pay all my bills and yes, I just cried this morning…
I’m living my best life and I am really truly and honestly so comfortable in my skin and in love with ME.
And if me being my best me helps you be your best you, then let’s do this life thing together, baby!
I’m Octavia. I’m an author, an artist, a cellist, a dancer, a mother, a speaker, the founder of Tavinda Media, the host of three podcasts, and I’m just getting started.
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